If Clippy found his way to SSMS

Recently my wife and I were comparing Cortana with Siri. It’s sometimes fun to compare virtual assistants to see how well they fare. Try asking Siri: “What time is it in GMT?”. We found a lot of others that Cortana knows that Siri doesn’t. This got me thinking. What if Clippy was included in SSMS?

There are so many DBA topics that Clippy could help with. What about Security? Could Clippy help there?


I’m not sure that’s what I was looking for; but, thanks Clippy.

What about Coding with TSQL?





Maybe we should stick with one of the most needed DBA topics: Performance.


Seriously, Clippy? You know it’s what we’re thinking but come on!

Anything else?

storage 1


storage 2

storage 3

While each of these are objectionably funny, the point remains that however annoying a virtual assistant may be it could be useful to have an extra hand when attempting to find issues in your queries or database instance.

I can visualize a future where SSMS includes Cortana and she’s actually helpful. This day may never come but I can certainly see it happening.

Until then, you may want to checkout my industry leading community health check app for SQL Server 2005+ and Azure SQL DB. For queries you can also use my community query parser, which is at: http://www.howsmyplan.com

10 thoughts on “If Clippy found his way to SSMS

  1. Y’know, I think there’s more to performance tuning than killing sessions, lol. But in real life I’ve seen one Clippy could help with like, “It looks like our junior code camp warrior Beavis has built Cartesian joins into the mission-critical app again, should I kill the connection and resend the email to management?”


  2. SSDT with productivity power tools and turning on “treat t-sql warnings as errors” is pretty close to a clippy assistant. Less annoying though.


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